This winter I didn’t come adequately prepared with my winter boots to Minnesota. In fact, I was rocking some sweet hospital socks for months both in and out of the hospital. Therefore, when I was finally out for good I rekindled my love with shoes. With the majority of my shoes packed away in storage out in Washington, DC I thought to myself, ‘well Kate it’s about that time to get some shoes. The Toms are not cutting it in negative degrees and snow.’
I didn’t go out and buy a nice pair of winter boots to keep these size 6’s warm. No, I bought 4 inch platform black knee-high boots. If I am going to be bald I am going to look good doing it, and I suppose they did keep my legs warm. It was a downward spiral from there.
After Drew’s comment that I look 100% better in my new shoes (he was joking) I knew this was one way I could feel better. Look good, feel good. Now looking good is not in the superficial sense at all. Gosh I thought I looked real good in those socks and hospital pajamas.
Pair Two: some ankle platforms that were exactly like my boots, but of course ankle high. Must have.
Pair — still counting: The weather started to warm up and the hot sun inspired some spring shoes.
Cancer gave me a whole new collection of SHOES!
On the flip side, cancer gave me all sorts of new smells. I am very sensitive to smells and have been my whole life. I am not allergic, but I possess rather a keen sense.
This business with smell is something that will tarnish my thoughts of hotels, bathrooms, metals, animal breath, baby poo, etc.
The days following Chemo I have the joys of what they like to call ‘dry mouth’. Well this also comes with the smell of baby poo breath. It really isn’t good to floss or brush a lot because my platelets are really low and my mouth is prone to infection. So I get to chew a lot of gum, eat copious amounts of mints, and rinse with solution. Yummm.They tell you after the first round of Chemo that the dead cells will morph out of the body any way possible. They are correct! For a long time I had to wear a scarf around my head while using the bathroom. It was potent! It reminded me of being in a Romanian train station underground toilet that hasn’t been cleaned or unplugged for years. I could even get the sense of the iron and gasoline from the trains. It is literally toxins radiating out. As my mass shrunk I was able to rid the scarf, but still kind of cringe the first few hours after Chemo.
The smell of sex is not generally pleasant. Let me tell you it surely is not pleasant when 5 different drugs are doing hard work on some cancer cells. We often just laugh and say at least we know it’s working and it shall pass.
If I am next to you on the treadmill and you get a smell of a citrus-metal (if that is imaginable) that is me! Sweat is sweat. We all know it stinks, but this is just not normal.
I even smell, and not taste, the drugs they infuse into me. It’s odd. I will someday like to forget all these, but for now I just shake my head and smile.